Author: kcikeh

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love

This song (the version by Shane & Shane) has been on repeat in my head for sometime now. *I can imagine Chidinma nodding in agreement* The hook of the song is ‘Tune my Heart to Sing Thy Grace’. With my experience in Praise Team and musical instruments, a couple things come to mind.

You ever played or listened to someone play a guitar that was out of tune? It can be frustratingly noisy, especially for someone who knows what it should sound like. Just a string out of tune is enough to ruin a song played on a 6-stringed guitar. Also, all instruments have to be in tune with each other. Nzube learned how to play the Sax on the saxophone key of C, but for the rest musicians, he was actually playing on the key of D#. If we wanted to have a good Sax feel on a song, we all had to adjust to that Key. Imagine if we asked what Key he was playing on and he said C, and we insist on playing on that C on the keyboard and guitar instead of going to a D#, well…chaos. In fact, one Saturday, Doc and I had to even adjust the cents on the Keyboard so it can be perfectly in tune with the Sax. Being in tune cannot be overemphasized.

Only last week Saturday, we had just finished scoring the Keyboard and Electric Guitar parts to a song for the next day with Femi T’s help. Finally, the song was beginning to make sense. Time to add the Bass Guitar, and alas, it wasn’t in tune. Femi was mad! (I was secretly laughing at how he was handling the ‘situation’ of an out of tune Bass Guitar). And I get it, every instrument but one was in perfect sync. Frustrating.

What could make for an out of tune musical instrument? If you haven’t played it in a while, the strings will get lax or too tight and be out of tune. Sometimes kids (and some adults) could gain access to the instrument and play with the tuning pegs. Even people who are learning to play, in trying to tune the guitar, can end up making a mess of it. Mechanically, that stuff you wind the string on (like an anchor), could be bad, and you can tune and tune and nothing comes out of it. Any way, there is hardly an instrument that you tune once for life. Often times, you have to do it again and again.

This is just my thinking, but if a guitar could feel stuff, I don’t think it will want to be tuned. It seems like it’s easier to follow the path of least resistance. Those of you that play the guitar, imagine the process of tuning, do you think you’ll like it if you were a guitar? I can imagine the guitar saying “Oh, why am I not a desk? Why do you have to keep adjusting and adjusting?”

These are some of the things that come to mind when I sing this song. If my heart is not tuned to God, his love, I’m only a resounding gong, a clanging cymbal…an out-of-tune bass guitar. I go to Church on Sunday, pious, holy, and live through the rest of the week with no regard for the Woodsman, I may as well be the nails that scratch on the blackboard…out-of-tune. I place my hope and anchor on anything and everything but the Anchor for the soul…job, education, family, lover, hobby… I seem like I want to be tuned, but when Light is shed on that situation, all I have are idols popping up everywhere…grossly out-of-tune. I will not crave the fellowship of believers, I will not subject myself to discipleship and training, I will just coast through life…pathologically out-of-tune. I will hold on to my culture everyday and on Sunday, try to hold on to the Cross…many strings are of tune.

Imagine you go to a concert, and every single instrument is out of tune, every vocalist is singing on a uniquely different key. UTTER CHAOS…noise. It’s the same thing that happens when these same people, all harmonies coming out well, instruments on point, but their hearts are far away from the Master..Still utter chaos. Words without life. Entertainers. Pleasure driven folks. Public ‘worshipers’, private idolaters. The words we sing are not skin-deep. And we know that something is missing. It’s the hearts that are not in tune. You may score some points for scaling and vocal prowess, but the heavens aren’t applauding. I have a good idea what God thinks of it actually (Isaiah 1:11-15). You know that there is no fire in that concert, you do! Hearts are out-of-tune. One heart out of tune can ruin everything! That’s why we have to start inventing our own spirit and fire. Laughable.

Perhaps, just perhaps, that difficult situation you’re in, that you’re praying for God to take away (*because that’s only when we pray, when we need something – Genie God), is because you’re in the tuning process.

John 15:2 “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful”

For folks that love hymns done with some contemporary swag, listen to this song, ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’ by Shane and Shane.

Cheers!

If you are a young christian male and your answer to the question “Have you struggled with/are you struggling with pornography?” is “Yes” (mine is), then pull up a chair for a little discuss. If you are a young christian male and haven’t struggled with it, grab a chair as well. Personal experience can be costly. Let us pretend this doesn’t affect the ladies.

Have you noticed that we live in a sexually-charged and pornographic culture? There’s a default level of pornography thrown at us everyday. It seems unconscious/subconscious but if you really think about it, we’re just being desensitized, and things that used to bother us, that should bother us, have over time, become normal. I’m not trying to explain sin away. Someone did say rightly “Seduction is not when you’re enticed to do something you don’t want to do. Seduction is when you are enticed to do something you secretly want to do.” It is because this is true that we need to be deliberate about what we allow to take root in our hearts and minds.

It’s in the movies we see. Have you noticed that it is easy to watch an adult scene in a movie (E.g Spartacus, GOT) and rave about how cool the movie is, but feel really shy to tell someone you saw a video on pornhub?

It’s in the songs we listen to. Lyrically sexually explicit songs, you can play them in your car while going for a drive with your fellowship members, but you need earphones when visiting an adult site. It’s in the music videos too. You can twerk in a music video and I will nod my head to the rhythm. I may even have my parents in the same room and it’s still okay (Yes, I may shift uncomfortably the first couple of times – but afterwards, it’s just a music video please).  But when it is clearly labeled as 18+ in Adult site, you prefer to go to the bathroom.

It’s in the books and magazines we read. Do you remember when we hide James Hardley Chase books and Mills and Boon books in a newspaper before reading them? Then tuck them away from prying eyes under the mattress? Yeah, there are shelves of such books, rebranded though, in Christian bookstores. Readers will know this that usually as you read a book, somehow, you are painting a picture of what the characters will look like if it were a movie. Even more so with erotic books. You have a BluRay, high def picture that YOU created in your mind. All you need is clay and the power that comes with ‘Let there be…’ and it is done.

Oh, and it’s definitely on social media. Just double-click on that picture on instagram. Sure, she is erotically dressed, and with half an imagination, she could be stark nude in my mind, but what’s it to me? I am not a pervert. It doesn’t even bother me anymore that people can see that I liked a raunchy picture. But I will clear my browser history when I visit some sites in the bathroom. That one, nobody can know.

Have you visited a public swimming pool recently?

Surely, you see the desensitization at play. Some of you have visited an adult site lately, or played that video hidden in your phone for your eyes only. And you have identified this as a problem, but while you’re trying to solve the issue, you are not trying to get back to ground zero, you are trying to get back to the default baseline the culture has set, which will still take you back to where you’re coming from. Kings, you owe it to God, yourself and a lot of people to maintain sexual purity.

How radical are you willing to go to respond to God’s love? How far are you willing to go to be the King your wife deserves? Do you know that pornography and masturbation can make you not enjoy sexual intimacy with your wife more thoroughly?…the unrealistic expectations and low sexual stamina. Do you know that if you are not more deliberate and radical, the time will come when you are to serve as Prophet and Priest and Protector in your home, but your children will tell you they are going to the movies in the cinema (and you know it’s a pornographic movie showing) and you ask if they have money for guguru?

Kings, I can’t pretend that this is easy. Going counter culture is swimming against the tide. YOU WILL FALL A COUPLE OF TIMES. Get back on the altar and die again…and again, and again, and again. It is in death, that you will find life. If you are already visiting adult sites, there’s this cool app called Blocker X on playstore. Subscribe and talk to a friend. You will need a code that will be sent to that friends email before you can access some contents.

I will like to hear from you about this topic. Are there more ways not listed up here that our culture desensitizes us? Do you have issues you want to discuss? You can send a message directly to me through this Blog message or just mail to kanayo_ikeh@yahoo.com. You can also leave a comment under if privacy is not an issue for you. I confess that I am not equipped to handle this issue with christian ladies (or that I even want to), but I have a lady friend with whom you can exchange a couple of messages. Reach out and I will link you up.

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away. It’s a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray. And thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid when you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day…it’s a slow fade. Casting Crowns

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In another news, welcome to February, my best month of the year, the month I celebrate love. Not because of valentine’s day (If I had my way, people putting on red on Feb 14th will be sterilized), but because of February the 12th! I would explain why I particularly celebrate love on that day in a blog entry. Watch this space. Cheers!

I realize that the natural tendency in our society is to be friends with people in the same age group as us. Right from childhood, we are whisked away to concentration camps (sometimes called boarding schools) and our major interaction comes from kids our age. The system deliberately puts us together, even at higher levels of training. In fact, most churches have a special section for children called Sunday School, then they graduate to the teens church before joining the adult church (at which point, they spell adult church as B-O-R-I-N-G!). In my church even, there’s a choir with majorly elderly people and another with young people (You can guess which of the choirs I belong to).

This is not necessarily bad and I know there are some advantages that comes with interacting with peers, but I think this is leaving the world void of men and women. What we have now are overgrown boys and girls. Our parents had closer interactions with the generation before them. Then, the word ‘apprenticeship’ really meant that. Little boys/girls and younger men/women learned (consciously and subconsciously) what it meant to be fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, professionals. They learned handwork by closely watching their Masters. I feel that our parents came in to adulthood earlier than we do. We grew up memorizing the fatality combination for Subzero in Mortal Kombat and our toys have only gotten more technologically advanced, but toys all the same…a fun-seeking generation.

The Case for Wisdom. Experience may be the best teacher, but life is too short to experience it all. Besides, some experiences have very costly price tags. Hence, the need for models. Not the ones Victoria has kept secret all this while. No, the real models. Godly models…professional models…family models…business models, generally speaking – gray-haired models. There’s wisdom in gray hair. Young folks have to deliberately seek this wisdom and grow up already! When people tell me to get out of my comfort zone, that’s what I think of. Not jumping off a plane (which is still out of my comfort zone).

Titus 2: Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.

I have prayed a lot with this verse. A younger woman under such ‘good model’ and training is the most attractive person alive. This is just a facet. I’ll argue that it holds true for the younger men needing models of goodness. Same with career paths. My personal decision is to get out of my comfort zone and make more friends older than I am. I do realize that not all elderly people are models of goodness though, so I’m trusting God for direction.

JOHN WICK! You see, there’s only one person deserving to be called ‘badt guy’, and that’s Mr Wick.  I definitely enjoyed seeing this movie! “Oh, but it’s so violent”. Yeah, whatever.

I’ll try to avoid so much spoilers. There’s one part of Parabellum that is really captivating to me. John needed to find someone and this is the description he was given as to how to find him:

Video Transcript “…the Elder is not the man you find. He can only choose to find you. You wish to speak with him? Go to the edge of the desert, look up….follow the brightest star. Walk until you are almost dead. Then, keep walking. When you are on your last breath, he will find you…or he will not.”

I mean, you must be really desperate to attempt finding the Elder. To do that, nothing else could even come as close in importance. Not even your own life. Somebody that does this is essentially saying: Even if it kills me, I will still try. I may end up doing this and the Elder chooses not to meet with me, and there is NOTHING I can do to change his mind, yet I will still seek him. This is the height of desperation! I don’t know if there is a ‘desperater’ desperation than this. I have given enough spoilers as is. If you will leave your Zee World and Telemundo, maybe there is hope for you and you will find out what John did…though you will find that he is truly deserving of the title of ‘Badt guy’.

Two passages of scripture come to mind when I think of this

Jer 29:13-14. “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else. I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s decree.

Matt 7:5. “Blessed [joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God], for they will be [completely] satisfied.

While there are some differences with Wick’s story and these passages, I’m hoping that you’re beginning to have an idea the kinda relationship God wants with us. I don’t think I can expound on this more than these passages have (bearing in mind the illustration from the movie). I do, however, want to point something out. God is not afraid or too gentle to put you in a situation or situations where you become desperate for him. He is not afraid to take away whatever thing (or person) that you’ve built your ‘peace’ about, your little safe haven. Especially when you’re his. Cos he will not tolerate idolatry from his children, however disguised.

Be like John…the Seeker (not the gun-totting maniac though). Unlike the elder (Where he may or may not find you), you will not be disappointed.

Sonder. This word (and paraphrases of it) has been on my mind for a while now. It means:

Sonder (Noun) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it. Wiktionary

Today, I was in a group with acquaintances and strangers, and they were conversing on something that really hurt me deeply. They didn’t know me or details of my recent past, but the conversation opened up wounds that I’m not sure were even closed. Then the realization hit me again. This humbling realization. We have never met before today, and probably will never do so again, but I could have easily been the one in his shoes, with no idea the turmoil going on in the mind and heart of the stranger next to me. You get to realize that maybe you’re not so special after all.

Think about it for a minute. Just think deeply…your greatest joy…those things that make you smile…your deepest need…your heart’s desire…your worst fears…the pain you can never really express…the way you plan for your future…or don’t plan for it…Those battles you fight secretly, nobody knows about…your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband…the quarrels..the beef you’re keeping…that carryover exam…you lost someone you’d have traded your life for…even your porn and masturbation addiction. Everything! Sonder is the very deep realization that everybody is living a life as vivid and real as yours!

I find this really humbling. It is very easy to be self-centered, even in our closest relationships, not to mention of that with strangers. Oh it all revolves around me. Serve me. Well, I’ll be polite and listen to you tell me about how you’re happy, but I’m secretly thinking about how I deserve that more than you do..or how that thing giving you joy is nothing compared to my joy giver. I may care to listen to you long enough to tell me of your pain while all the time waiting to take over and tell you about my own pain in a way that brings satisfaction to me, regardless of how you feel about it..I can even thinly disguise it as ‘comforting you with the comfort I received’. And this is for close relationships. Imagine how it is with the person you sit next to in a keke.

Perhaps, this deep realization will help in applying this ‘simple rule-of-thumb guide to behaviour: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them’ (Matt 7:12).

I think the closest two people in the world are those of whom the issues of life serves as an alarm, awaking his/her consciousness, that the other person is going through same or similar and seeks to feel the pulse of the other regarding that issue or any other that may arise. Then, two hearts may really beat as one.

365

BRUCE HIDDLE. He was a good-looking guy in his thirties, an electrical engineer for Washington Water Power. He had a sweet wife named Annie and two cute kids, Jamie and Josh. In May of 1990 he displayed a quiet peace and faith in the Lord that became an example to the rest of us.

Bruce and his family were returning from a visit with Annie’s folks in Electric City, driving a long, monotonous two-lane late at night. Bruce was at the wheel, Annie was on the passenger side, the kids were secured in child seats in the back.

The last thing Bruce remembers was the oncoming headlights of a large vehicle, most likely a truck. There was nothing amiss. The truck was in its own lane. They passed each other, going opposite directions.

And then Bruce woke up in a daze, in the dark, his body numb, slumped against his shoulder restraint. The kids in the back seat were screaming. Blood was streaming from his forehead and dripping off his chin. Beads of shattered windshield lay like gravel on the seats, in his lap, on top of the dashboard. The car was leaning precariously, apparently in a gully beside the highway. He reached for Annie, but felt rough wood. A twelve-inch log had come through the windshield and now lay where Annie’s head and shoulders should have been. He twisted around, trying to see the kids. They were spattered with blood, flesh, and Annie’s blonde hair.

A logging truck had lost part of its load just as the two vehicles passed. A log, perfectly timed and aimed, went through the windshield of Bruce’s car, missing Bruce and killing his wife. The truck driver pulled over and became incoherent when he saw what his lost load had done. Another motorist saw the wreck and went in search of a telephone.

I was working as dispatcher for the volunteer fire department that night and took the emergency call. I sent out the dispatch telling the volunteers there’d been a fatality accident, but I had no idea the accident involved a family from my church. When the aid crew arrived and radioed back, I got the news. By that time, Bruce and the kids had been trapped in their car for over an hour. Numb with shock, I remained at my post, coordinating communications and crews until Pete Sisson burst into the station and bumped me from my chair. “I’ll handle it. Get going.”

Bruce and the kids were airlifted to a hospital in Spokane, and that was where I found them. Bruce had broken ribs and facial lacerations. The kids had minor injuries from flying glass and seat restraints. He was coherent but we didn’t talk. There were no words, only shock and an insurmountable disbelief.

Annie was gone. Instantly. Before any of us could fathom that we had lost anything, she simply wasn’t there. We could not believe it that night. We could scarcely believe it the next morning. Shock did not give way to grief until well into the next day.

And then the questions came: With miles and miles of open road, why that truck, that car, together at that time in that place? Why was the accident so ruthlessly, savagely perfect?

Like everyone else, I drew upon my faith for comfort and tried to share that comfort as best I could. But inside, I was asking the same questions as everyone else, knowing there would never be answers.

There was no funeral, only a memorial service once Bruce had healed enough to attend. All who knew and loved Annie were there, and took turns sharing their thoughts and remembrances. I spoke briefly about the need to trust God in all circumstances, for his ways are unsearchable. I reminded everyone that Annie, knowing Jesus, was in a better place and just fine, but I could feel my insides quaking and I teetered on the brink of tears with every sentence. After we sang our last song, I stole quietly into a back room, sat down with my face in my hands, and lost it completely. Oh dear Lord, why? Why Annie? What’s Bruce going to do now? What about Josh and Jamie?

I didn’t hear anyone come in. I just felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a quiet whisper, “It’s okay. . . it’s okay.”

I reached up and touched the hand touching me , then looked into the scarred, black-and-blue face of Bruce Hiddle. He sat down, put his arms around my shoulders and let me cry, not saying another word. I was supposed to be the minister bringing comfort to the grieving, but I was drained of comfort. Bruce, a quiet serenity showing through his scars and his tears, was ready to share what he had.

In the months that followed, Bruce often got tearful, at any time, in any place, usually without warning, but he didn’t seem self-conscious about it. “It’s for Annie,” he would tell people. “Don’t worry, it’s just something I have to do.” The rest of the time, he was the friend, daddy, and brother we all cherished, with a glow about him that the scars and the stitches could not extinguish. The scars eventually faded. The glow still remains.

“It’s Jesus,” he always explained. “He knows the answers. He’ll work it out.”

Two years later, the Lord brought Libby McLane into Bruce’s life, and in the summer of 1992, they were wed in our little church on Elm Street. Josh and Jamie stood with their dad and their new mom as I performed the ceremony, and once again, I teetered on the brink of tears with every sentence.

“It’s okay,” Bruce whispered to me as he held his bride’s hand. “It’s okay.”

The dark days – filled with overwhelming sorrow. The inadequacy of words to convey the restlessness of the heart. Dark clouds blot out the rays of the sun. Not a single ray of light warms your heart. Deep deep wounds. Very harsh misery. Bleeding over everything and everyone. Those nights when dawn tarries. Those days with light-filled darkness. Where the smile on the face is not a reflection of the turmoil of the mind…the darkest of days.

WHERE ARE YOU?! I thank you that you have granted me repentance and faith and that you have redeemed me even though deserving of your wrath and justice. I owe you everything for this, yes, but where are you? In the dark days, where are you? Why wouldn’t you dispel the clouds with a breath? Light from your mouth can drive away the deepest darkness in an instant, so why wouldn’t you? Where are you when the waves come crashing down? When the sun scurries away into hiding carrying with it my sunshine, where are you? Where are you in my darkest days?

And my heart is warm in an instant, even in the darkness. ‘WITH YOU…With you. Everyday, with you. Broken with you…Crushed with you…Bloodied with you…Tearful with you…Grieving with you! Where am I in your darkest days? With you!’

Hello, Friend forever 🙂  Sit with me a while.

Hi ya!

A fair warning – This is a table-shaking entry.

Some years ago, I was at my youth group in Church (Jos) and our discipler asked us a question: why are you on earth? I was quick to answer (*should have known that was a trick question). “To worship him”, I said. He said if it’s just to worship him, He would have taken us to Heaven immediately upon salvation where correct worship is happening. The Master came to reconcile men to himself, and left us with the ministry of reconciliation. I could quote Matthew 28:19, but I like this one better for this purpose:

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. 2 Cor 5:18

The only way to live life purposefully is to let this consume your thoughts and drive your actions in every place you find yourself. I often hear people say that life has no meaning. But it does! Reconciliation. I have also learned that God doesn’t waste his resources. Remember the chess game, yeah? On this side of our chess board, you Christian are a key player. And your position and skills and wealth and all that he has given you are tools for this one aim.

While winding down our Masters program, it is common to find that many Nigerians do not want to return home and try all they can to stay back: applying for jobs, applying for PhDs (even those not interested in it). I remember the Pastor saying that it is those God needs in UK for his service that he will keep by way of Jobs and PhDs. I find this to be true for every sphere of life and place. There’s this verse I read a little differently:

^“But first and most importantly seek (aim at, strive after) His kingdom and His righteousness [His way of doing and being right—the attitude and character of God], and all these things will be given to you also”.

‘All these things’ will not be given to you as compensation, or some sort of reward, for seeking the Kingdom most importantly. Nope. ‘All these things’ will be giving to you as a platform to further seek the Kingdom. A first year Christian student may not have the opportunity to have a one-on-one with the VC, but a Christian Professor will. Being a Professor in itself, though admirable humanly speaking, has no eternal significance. Gaining admission to a higher Institution takes you to a new environment and brings you to people you would not have met otherwise. Being a student is admirable, but your certificate at the end of day is what it is, paper. We certainly wouldn’t be in need of Architects in Heaven. That’s way past your pay grade. I don’t know what being the best graduate from MIT means when you’re alive, but I have a good idea what it means when you’re dead. Getting married is wonderful, but if your life as a couple does not bring people to the Cross, and you lose out on raising war veterans (children) for the course, you are better of alone. Every aspect of your life MUST be lived with this deliberate goal in mind.

“Oh, yes, true, but I must cut corners here and there so I can get to the top of my Political career. Then I will have attained a big platform to work for God”….”Hmm, true, but I have this amazing voice and will not go far if I’m in Church. I should at least sing some secular songs and get signed with the big record labels, and have a huge fan base. Then I can drop one Gospel song and have a larger platform than I would have if I had stayed in Church”. Ah, Ezigbo mmadu! You think your Enemy is passive? In the words of Voddie Baucham:

“The goal of my life must not be a scheme to gain popularity so that I can use it for God. The goal of my life must be to know God better that I might serve him more faithfully in whatever arena he opens up for me.”

Found this prayer in my Journal (I think I picked it from Voddie Baucham too) and it is a reflection of my heart now. “My prayer is that I will take these formative years and dig deep roots. That I will know God and pursue God. And that wherever you place me, I will be faithful to you. That I will place my faith not in myself, my abilities, my credentials, my popularity or anything else; but in the simple, plain, unadulterated, uncompromising gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ”. Amen.

***This entry is actually meant for Christians, and I don’t mean those that just tick it on forms. Use the platforms you have been given well, and more will be added. #Always&ForeverChronicles

I have known pain. Heart-wrenching pain. The face I see behind my eyelids. Heart-wrenching pain. May 28th 2019 I was involved in an accident 2 days after my wedding that claimed the life of my wife and my brother 2 weeks later. When 2 hearts are fused together, beating as one, pulling one away from the other leaves deep-seated injuries. They were the 2 closest people to me. Suddenly, it seems like I’m all alone in what was to be the best year of my life yet. But despite everything, there is a certain beauty I see. This beauty translates into a hand that gently keeps my heart alive – The Beauty in Pain.

The beauty in Pain is this: “The Lord is upright, he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him” Ps 92:15. “God is light, pure light; there’s not a trace of darkness in him” 1 Jn 1:5. “I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” Jer 29:11

There’s a battle going on. Not very obvious with our 5 senses but very real! The battle for the soul. In the last couple of days, I have played a lot of chess with my brothers-in-law, to keep the mind from worrying…and to shut out the pain, albeit temporarily. Some lessons from the game: if you don’t see the full picture, it’s easy to be defeated. Also, if you are not very strategic in moving your pieces, a defeat is also lurking. I have come to understand that God is the most strategic chess player of all time in the battle of the soul. A little Biblical insight…

Jacob had 12 sons but loved the one more than the others – Joseph. That fact, and the fact that Joseph was a blabber mouth in his earlier years earned him the hatred of his brothers. He was to be killed if not for his eldest brother, and was sold into slavery in Egypt. While in Egypt, he was falsely accused and thrown in prison. God’s hand was on him and he eventually rose to be the second-in-command in Egypt. By God-given wisdom, he stored up food in Egypt in preparation for a 7-year long famine. This was the sole-reason Jacob and the rest of his sons survived the famine.

There’s a lot of lessons to be gleaned from the life of Joseph, but nah ah. That wasn’t the point of it all. That was just a chess move. Fast forward to the Gospels many years later, the key player in the game was born. Jesus Christ – The Lion of the tribe of Judah. If Joseph hadn’t gone to Egypt, whatever bitterness and pain he had been through, his brother, Judah, would have died in the famine. The generation of the Master Piece would have been cut off. And I would have been mourning like a pagan now. The Most Strategic-Player of all time came out of Joseph’s perceived misfortune!

The pain is palpable. But as long as God’s interest in reconciling man to himself is still same as mine, there’s an excitement to see what he’s up to. It has been repeated back to me a couple of times what I said during the Service of Songs in tribute to my loved ones: Last month my life was perfect. Today, my life is still perfect! This was not referring to a numbness from the pain. Oh, definitely not. This was referring to the beauty in the pain.

Again, my death has been postponed. By all human logic, I shouldn’t be typing this. I am a miracle in the mystery. Not yet certain of the specific assignment I am to do for him but all I know is this – the most strategic chess player of all time is at it again! Hallelujah!

It has been a while since I put up anything here. While I still practice reflective thinking, I find it is easier for me to keep a Journal, which also allows me to be a lot more personal.

A lot has happened since my last blog entry on upcoming general. Most Exciting being I have been offered a PhD with full scholarship in the Cellular, Molecular and Biomedical Science program at University of Vermont, USA!

When I think back on everything, two things fill my mind ‘God is good’ and ‘It was all worth it’. Every failed opportunity, every exam, every naira/pound/dollar spent, brought me to this moment. A few days ago, I was going through my mail and with all the rejection emails I saw, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that it didn’t work. Of course, I remember what it feels like to be rejected, but when I look at it with the privilege of hindsight, I see how this one is more in line with my goals and holds better prospects for my future. God is good. I was all worth it.

I am also grateful for the support I received from specific faculty from GCU…Drs Catherine wright, Patricia Martin and Frances McInnes. The encouragement was outstanding. I may not fully understand what it took to always write out references for me, especially as I applied to maaaaaaany programs, and I definitely wasn’t the only student requesting references from them. I can’t be any more grateful! Family and friends have been more than awesome!!

One lesson I will take from this experience, which applies to basically every sphere of life, and which will be helpful to me in my PhD program is this: Today ALWAYS Shows Up Tomorrow. This means the things done today, little or great, good or bad, wise or foolish, will strike chords that will reverberate tomorrow to produce a beautiful melody or just annoying noise.

To those who might read this looking for the same or similar testimony, I hope this serves as an encouragement. Do watch this space for updates.