In my interaction with life, and more so in recent past years, I have come to a profound realization: I need God! Not just to check off church attendance, or have a streak on the YouVersion Bible app. This is more than a realization of a ‘want‘. In fact, many times I don’t want what God has to say or want His will. But the growing awareness that I need God is indeed profound. I need to know God and be known by Him.

Once my gaze is not on the Cross, it gets obvious as sin quietly slips in. Usually, the first casualty is Peace. As anxiety fills the space previously occupied by peace, its work insidious and effective, the mind begins to fight battles that are not mine to fight. The psychology world has so many names to these battles. Fear is not far behind, as a sound mind makes a quick exit. My speech and thoughts about people and things become laced with foolishness, as fear of everything else but God increases. Probably, the most devastating blow is a lack of awareness, and an indifference to sin. That sin that so easily besets becomes less and less of an ongoing struggle, even with the prod to repentance. It gets more difficult to resist the Devil and to flee from all appearances of evil. ‘I must repent now‘ slowly becomes ‘I will repent tomorrow‘. My worldview slowly switches from Biblical to anything but. Straying away from disciplined study of the principles and precepts of the Bible carries along with it severe consequences that I just simply need to know God. Nowhere else is joy found.

I also need to be known by God. It is the Word of God that exposes sin, even those ones hid in the deepest, darkest crevices of the heart. And as the Word of God searches me, and tries my innermost thoughts, they are laid bare those three: pride, lust and lies. Like a vampire, evil thrives in darkness, only vanquished by the light of the Truth. I actually don’t want to be known by God. My natural desire is to hold on to these little evil treats. But for the sake of my soul and my family, and those who will listen to me, I need to be known by God and continue on surrendering.