Too far gone. It has overtaken and overshadowed me. I am soaked in it, bound by it, craving for it, one with it. Black heart scarred by the black slime. Painfully helpless. My own worst enemy, stitched in ever so delicately, one with me. Constantly surfacing, more frequently than before, grinning in mischief, “I will consume you.” He’s too strong, I can’t shake him off. He lurks by the corner, in the darkness, patiently waiting, bidding his time. Exploiting every weakness, “I will consume you.”The longer I fight him off, the more ensnared I get. Perfectly woven trap. Grossly outmatched in every way. “I will consume you.” It seems to be getting bigger everyday, fiercer, less intimidated. It used to be so small, I could it pet it like I would a puppy. How does it feed? How does it evolve, adapt? What does it want from me? “I will consume you.”

I want to resign to it, embrace it, dwell in it, bow the knee. Perhaps if I pledge my allegiance, it won’t bruise me so badly anymore. Perhaps if I let it consume me, I’ll find immense pleasure therein. It’s smiling at me. So attractive, so seductive! I don’t see its fangs anymore. Its claws are now perfectly manicured. The words flow like honey from its lips. “I will consume you.” Now that doesn’t sound so bad. A small step forward, and another, and another. Deep in the recess of my mind, I know I should turn and go back, but I lack the will to do so. If I draw a line here, I could make this the new default point. I wouldn’t go further, but I now have a better vantage point to stare at this magnificent beast. It is patient, “I will consume you.” It shows me enough of its beauty to intrigue me, just enough to spark my curiosity. So I take another step, and another, and another. I draw the line again and set up camp.

Why was I fighting before? My weapons lay several feet away from me. I am left with just my helmet and, as with the others, this is becoming annoyingly heavy. It narrows my vision and I can’t take in as much as I want to. But it seems to be latched on too tightly, so much so that I just let it stay. The beast beckons to me, “I will consume you.” My heart skips a beat. My feet do too, cos I’m advancing in leaps and bounds towards this beast, this gorgeous beauty.

“I will consume you.” Hmm, is it me or are those words sounding more menacing? A glimpse of fangs, claws, dripping with hatred. The memory comes, I’ve been here before! It’s a trap and I’ve been here before. The familiar stench of rot, death. It’s too late as I feel its teeth breaking into my flesh. The more I struggle to break free, the deeper it sinks its fangs, and the weaker I get. I know now that there is nothing in me that can defeat this beast. “He…..lp” “He……lp.” I see the wicked glint in its eyes. Without words, I can read it in its eyes “He’s gone. He won’t help you. Not this time, not again.”

“He…..lp” “He…..lp”

“Let me consume you.” Familiar voice. Source: my head, no, my helmet. “Let me consume you.” Oh, I will be consumed today alright. By one or the other.